Yes Sarah, there is a St. Nic!

(disclaimer, I am NOT “dissing” Jesus or God. Just giving my understanding of Santa vs. St. Nicholas.)

The lines are blurred at Christmas… Christmas is all Jesus. There is no doubt there.

But there IS actually a St.Nicholas Day. When my daughter began questioning “Santa”…. The below is what I told her and WHY.

Below is a piece I wrote which appeared in a book a friend of mine wrote.

--------------------

Many people believe spirits can orchestrate or manipulate situations to have an outcome for us that can make us take notice or open our eyes to an opportunity we may have otherwise missed or ignored. It’s all around us. You only need to recognize it.

Is Saint Nicholas real? What about Santa Clause? Over many years these two have been blurred together. Santa Clause is an idea. Dare I say, propaganda. St. Nicholas however, was an actual person who truly performed charitable deeds and was granted sainthood. He is still in existence as spirit just as we one day will. I use the word spirit as living entity. Not merely an ideal in one’s heart.

My daughter is a kindhearted, intelligent child. When she obtained a certain age she began questioning Santa Clause. I didn’t want to be untruthful, misinform, nor did I want to damage the enchantment of this supernatural entity. There is actually a truthful balance to this mystical being. He undeniably lived on this Earth; Yet continues to be present as a spirit entity. Spirits (with the help or approval of God) can orchestrate events or a simple moment which can lead us to where we should be or assist in what we need to accomplish. I explained to her St. Nicholas was indeed authentic, and gave a brief synopsis of his selfless achievement.

A seemingly simple, yet fantastic example of spirit orchestration was one of the impossible items my daughter had on her Christmas list. A Criss Angel doll. It didn’t exist. In wanting to preserve the enchantment, I set out on a quest that lead me to Magical Dolls almost effortlessly. Hmmmmm. Magical. I found it takes months to special order one of these amazingly realistic dolls. However upon contacting the Artist “something” inspired this wonderful, personable, caring woman to not only take on the job with only 2 weeks left on the clock, but to enhance the awe for a child by sending a handwritten note from “Elf Brigitte” on the most beautifully hand sketched angelic type fairy stationary. Something lead me to Magical Dolls. Something inspired Brigitte to go out of her way, take my daughter’s impossible wish and turn it into charming reality. Something. Something I give credit to not only her kind heart, but to spirit for leading me to her. Yes Sarah, there is a St. Nicholas. He lives in the hearts of everyone who helps others. He inspires them.

My daughter continues to question me each year. Her lists are always very short, but they began innocently containing at least one item she would dream up that didn’t exist. And thus began the series of “tests”. “It doesn’t exist, but SANTA can make it. Can’t he?” That item of course would be at the top of the list.

This past Christmas List, had something on it. Something ever so simple. Simple, yet completely out of human hands… Snow. She longed for oodles of snow at home. Enough to snowmobile on. She had taken and passed her safety class which would allow her to drive one, even though we had not had enough snow in years passed, nor enough money to take a trip. There was no choice but to place that request in the hands of God and his celestial helpers. She wanted snow so badly even if it wasn’t enough to snowmobile on, she at least was hoping for a White Christmas instead of the muddy ones we’d been getting.

Miraculously, just before Christmas, we - were - dumped - on - with - snow! More then enough! Not only did she get her White Christmas, the snow stayed in tact and she was able to snowmobile… a few times! This was something money truly couldn’t buy.

A hope and a wish in one’s heart. A seemingly impossible mission, became exonerate reality. An unachievable event, materialized.

Faith, hope and dreams. Enchanted mysticism restored. Doubt erased. In her heart and in MINE.

He can help to orchestrate events… and he lives in the kind hearts of others willing to lend a hand to another.. and sometimes make the impossible, possible.

Yes Sarah, there really IS a St. Nicholas!

A CURE for CANCER?!!!!!

Oh my God. I just saw something that gave me chills down my spine and I went weak in the knees. I had tears of joy quietly squeezing out. This is the most promising thing I've ever seen!! I have a sense, this one just might work!!!! And go figure, the idea was sparked by a 16 year old!....

You can see the video here: http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/OnCall/husband-searches-cancer-cure-wifes-death/story?id=9212102&page=1

or you can read the below from ABC:

Did a Devoted Husband Find a Cancer Breakthrough?
After His Wife Died From Breast Cancer, Husband Turned to Cancer Research
By CLAIRE SHIPMAN
Dec. 1, 2009
Throughout his years of groundbreaking research, endocrinologist Dr. David Vesely never gave curing cancer a lot of thought.
But then it became personal.

"We started to work on cancer when my wife died of breast cancer seven years ago," Vesely said.

His wife, Clo, died in 2002, leaving Vesely and their five children behind. Vesely said he directed his sorrow into his work at the James A. Haley Hospital in Tampa, Fla., and seven years later he may have a breakthrough.

An Idea From the Heart

Vesely said it was originally his son's idea to conduct research. Brian, who was 16 when his mother died, was looking for a way to channel his grief a month after his mother's death.
In the late 1980s, Vesely, focusing on heart disease, discovered three hormones made by the heart that prevented normal heart cells from getting bigger and multiplying. He wondered if they could also control cancer cell growth.

Vesely and Brian set up an experiment and left cancer cells and heart hormones alone in a Petri dish. The cancer cells were blown apart by the body's own hormones.

"Well, the cells blew apart. So we thought, 'maybe we did something wrong,'" Vesely said. "Because you never know ... but the second time, we knew it was real."

Vesely began studying the effect on mice that had been injected with human cancer cells, by pumping the hormones under their skin.

"Usually after a month, they eliminate up to 80 percent of human pancreatic cancers growing in the mice," Vesely said.

Since then Vesely said he has eliminated other deadly forms of human cancers in mice, including 67 percent of breast cancers and 86 percent of small cell lung cancers, all with almost no side effects.

Although Vesely, 66, said he wouldn't go as far as to call it a cure for cancer, he is hopeful.

"But if it does cure one cancer in human, it will cure almost all of them, or eliminate them," Vesely said.
Human Clinical Trials to Begin

Kalos Therapeutics is raising money for the first human clinical trials for Vesely's findings. But as Vesely waits, he said he is feeling the urgency from hundreds of e-mails from people dying of cancer asking when his treatment will be ready.

"It's mostly funding. They need money to move ahead," Vesely said.

"If we can make some dent in cancer ... it will be spectacular," Vesely added.
Vesely's Finding Met With Hope and Caution

Vesely published his work, and although the medical world is intrigued, it is also cautious.

"I think that there's potentially promise here, but I think the real question is whether these very potent hormones will be tolerable at the doses required," said Dr. Mark Ratain from the University of Chicago.

Vesely said he is also cautious about raising expectations "because you don't want to get too far ahead of yourself."

I HAVE A NAME! I HAVE A FACE!!

I worry every day if I will continue to survive this disease. This morning, I’m beside myself with fear and worry. My head is spinning and I’m in tears. What about my daughter? What about YOUR DAUGHTER? YOUR NIECE? YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER?

The new “guidelines” for Breast Cancer Screening has been changed by our government. Welcome to the new National Health Care system. (we’ll wait till you’re good and festered with cancer so treatment just won’t be effective therefore withheld…. or with luck, you'll be dead before then and we won't have to worry about spending money on you over burdensome creatures.)

I saw this coming. Many of us saw this coming.

So many did not. Well here ya go. The first MAJOR DAGGER to our health…….

((they based this new guideline on bogus, outdated information))

I HAVE A NAME! I HAVE A FACE!!

Please Please PLEASE READ THIS in it's entirety. Our children are at stake!!

(((I will also be working toward stopping this action and hope you will stand with me!)))

November 16, 2009

"The recommendation to change screening is a huge step backwards," says Dr. Marisa Weiss.

To the Breastcancer.org community:

The U.S. Preventive Services Task Force recently recommended dramatic changes to current breast cancer screening guidelines. Breastcancer.org is strongly opposed to these recommendations.

The proposed new guidelines recommend starting regular screening mammograms at age 50, rather than at age 40 as current guidelines recommend. They recommend screening before age 50 only for women with a much-higher-than-average risk of breast cancer. The proposed new guidelines also call for mammograms to be done every other year instead of every year, as recommended by current guidelines.

The proposed new guidelines are based on research that looks at the effect of breast cancer screening on society from a public health perspective. This means the researchers were looking at how changing breast cancer screening guidelines would affect the overall public, rather than individual women. In proposing the changes, the task force members said that starting mammograms later in life and doing mammograms less often would save a large amount of money. It also means that about 3% more women would die from breast cancer each year. The task force members felt that the amount of money saved (from fewer mammograms and side effects of extra biopsies and treatment) was greater than the value of more lives saved (3% fewer women surviving breast cancer).

At Breastcancer.org, we are deeply troubled by both the analysis that led to these proposed guideline changes and the effect these proposed changes would have on the health and lives of women. Our specific concerns:

• The analysis was based on older mammography techniques, meaning the researchers mostly looked at results from film mammograms instead of digital mammograms.
• The analysis was based on some inaccurate assumptions about optimal treatment after breast cancer is diagnosed. For example, it assumed that women diagnosed with hormone-receptor-positive, early-stage breast cancer would receive and benefit from hormonal therapy but not chemotherapy, even though we know that many of these women do receive and benefit from chemotherapy after surgery. Inaccurate assumptions like this may have caused the researchers to underestimate the number of lives that would be lost should the proposed changes in screening be adopted.
• The analysis did not adequately consider the combined benefit of early detection (with current screening guidelines) and new treatments that have resulted in steadily improving survival rates in recent years. Screening cannot be looked at in isolation as a snapshot. Screening happens as we continue to improve both diagnosis and treatment. But we can’t treat what isn’t diagnosed.
• The proposed guideline changes would mean that many breast cancers would be diagnosed at a later stage, making it harder to become cancer-free. Later-stage diagnoses result in more women with metastatic disease (that has spread to other parts of the body) and more women with large or multiple cancers requiring mastectomy (too late for breast-conserving treatments).
• The proposed guideline changes would mean that younger women would be diagnosed later. Breast cancer in younger women tends to be more aggressive, so early diagnosis and treatment is more critical for them. It is the lives and futures of younger women that would be lost if the proposed changes are adopted.

Expressed as nameless, faceless numbers, the 3% decrease in breast cancer survival might seem like an acceptable trade-off when compared to the economic benefits of changing breast cancer screening policies. But breast cancer affects a very large number of women, so 3% of that number is not insignificant. The reality is that more women -- mothers, daughters, sisters, grandmothers, and aunts -- will die each year from breast cancer, which is neither reasonable nor acceptable.

We at Breastcancer.org encourage medical professionals and everyone affected in any way by breast cancer to raise their voices against these surprising and dramatic proposed changes in the guidelines for breast cancer screening. Our belief is that lives should be saved, not lost, and our commitment to you is that we will continue to strongly advocate for policies that support this fundamental mission.

Marisa C. Weiss, M.D.
President and Founder, Breastcancer.org
Director of Breast Radiation Oncology, Director of Breast Health Outreach
Lankenau Hospital

Maxine Jochelson, M.D.
Director of Radiology
Evelyn H. Lauder Breast Center
Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center
Professional Advisory Board, Breastcancer.org

Emily F. Conant, M.D.
Professor of Radiology, Chief of Breast Imaging
Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania
Professional Advisory Board, Breastcancer.org

http://www.breastcancer.org/opinion/mammography_guidelines.jsp

I will be working toward organizing some kind of something to fight this!

Please stand stand with me!

Please if you know ANYONE affected by Breast Cancer, have them join and sign AGAINST new Mammography Guidlines.... http://community.breastcancer.org/

http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/110/topic/744011?page=8#post_1601243

I HAVE A FACE - I HAVE A NAME !!!! continued...

Write your representatives senators & congressmen/woman....
Tell them you are opposed to this new shut up and die "guideline" which is merely a prelude of what's to come in our health care. TELL THEM YOU ARE WATCHING & PAYING ATTENTION. If we don't voice, they think we don't care. Please, don't let this opportunity slip through your fingers.


Representatives: http://www.house.gov/house/MemberWWW_by_State.shtml
Senators: http://www.senate.gov/general/contact_information/senators_cfm.cfm

You can copy and paste the below, be sure to READ IT BEFORE SENDING, it requires your changes.

I am opposed to the New Guidelines set forth by Preventive Services Task Force on changing the age of Breast Cancer Screening Recommendations to 50.

I have breast cancer.... (supply your story)
OR
I know someone who at 40 was diagnosed by mammography, when a doctor ignored her findings of lumps in her armpit, that was then diagnosed with advanced/metastatic/carcinoma of the breast. She would be dead by now if she waited till 50 for a mammogram.

The age for mammography should be at minimum one at age 30.


Thanks everybody!

Halloween Flashlight Hazard !!!!

Do NOT use or give to children!!!!
Black & Orange flashlight with 6 stencils
(also sold in 3 pack of black, orange and green flashlights) FIRE HAZARD

This morning (10/21/09) I heard on WLUP 97.9 radio with Johny B a mother’s chilling story of a flash light that should have been fun turned extremely dangerous.

She played with the flash light for about 5 minutes with her 3 year old before bed. And another 5 minutes later, the mother smelled a very odd smell. Upon investigating, she found the flash light, in the OFF position, melted at the opposite end of the light (so it wasn’t heat from the bulb), it was the area of where the spring connects to the battery I believe she said, had burned through the pillow case into the pillow (it must have then fallen off the pillow) on to the bed and proceeded to burn through the sheet, mattress pad, leaving burns on the mattress itself. Her daughter was sleeping next to it. Had the mother not noticed the smell, it could have ended a very tragic outcome! She called and visited Target where the flash light had come from (in Crestwood, IL) When she went there, they told her “wow too bad” and “what do you expect to get out of this?” Not only did they never return her calls, they wouldn’t give her the information off the package so she could contact the manufacturer. She was not after personal gain. She wanted a RECALL so this doesn’t happen to anyone else’s child, or allow a worse incident. She did file with Consumer Products and they are “in the process of testing” the product. There is currently no recall. No information being given out.

This did not ignite at the bulb, but at the back of the flashlight at spring. This is seriously dangerous!

Again, they are Black & Orange flash lights with 6 stencils, purchased at Target in the ‘bargain bin’ (also sold as black, orange, and green flashlights in a 3 pack).


I will be back soon with updates for blog, I really wanted to get this out there to everyone that would purchases something like this at Halloween time for the kids.

HAVE A HAPPY AND SAFE HALLOWEEN!

Poisoned. Our slow slaughter…

Dark clouds loom around us all…

I do believe bad thing sometimes happen for a reason, a lesson to be learned not necessarily for the person directly inflicted, but perhaps for others related, or a remote person or people gaining wisdom from someone else’s misfortunate story. On the other hand bad things can happen to someone because of someone else’s actions. That’s a part of free-will given to us which we all possess. Often too many people choose to use their free-will unwisely.

With my cancer infliction, I never once asked “why me”. Many people do. I never did. I learned long ago that isn’t the correct question. But in the past years, I have wondered “HOW” did something happen. HOW, is my question so I might learn from it.

I’ve began a new journey on HOW. I intended to write about High-Fructose Corn Syrup and it’s serious consequences forced upon us, until I found an alarming story. One which paralyzes me with fear. One which makes me wonder, “how can the government knowingly allow this reckless practice to continue?” One which I hope will prompt everyone to discontinue dry cleaning services and put these places out of business. Any clothes I own that have been deemed “dry clean only” is an absolute crock of crap. I’ve done them all at home with my own hands and they’ve come out even better. I will publish this information in the next day or so. Much of Illinois is known to be effected. You too will be bewildered, and question “how can this be allowed to continue?” I hope we will all be prompted to act on this information and somehow in a clear voice stop this deliberate, unnecessary contamination which can and does exterminate life, eating away at us like a quiet and slow slaughter.

TROUBLED WATERS, Contamination... Hello? Erin Brockovich?

This is something that may affect everyone reading this. Please bear with me. Even if you are not in Illinois, and especially if you ARE. Our very lives actually may depend on it.
All through this twisted journey of life altering, and ongoing cancer battle I’ve been on, I’ve never asked “why me”, however, now and again I entertained the thoughts of HOW me? HOW may have this cancer been caused? There is a reason for everything, and sometimes bad things are caused because of someone else’s free will which can affect others in a very negative way.

I reminisce of long time residents and immediate neighbors. Louie and Grace raised 5 kids in their house next to me. He died of cancer about 12 years ago. Shortly after, a neighbor directly across from him passed away from some type of cancer. Some time after that her son Lloyd, who we affectionately referred to as “the deaf guy” cos Sarah had a hard time understanding at the age of 2 why he always grunted and made strange sounds at her, also passed away from cancer. Louie’s wife Grace died just over 5 years ago from cancer. In each of these cases, I imagine it was found too late to do anything about it. But there’s 4. Right next to me and right across from me all in the time we’ve lived here. What about farther down the street? Or The next block over? What is going on over there? A few years back, directly across from me, my neighbor Ellen, found cancer and had surgery to remove it. So far so good for her. Thank God. Then me… I did get to thinking “what the hell?” Is it something in our food? Is it something in our water? I began to seriously worry about the health of my husband and future health of my daughter. We found out that just across the highway my neighbor’s brother had cancer, his wife, and currently having treatments, their daughter.

Two weeks ago, Ellen’s husband Wayne approached us with more devastating news. By accident, because of x-rays from his knee surgery, they found colon cancer within him! Now hold on just a minute. This is WAY TOO MUCH. Louie and Grace had been the longest residents. Then Lloyd and his mother across from him. Currently, we are the longest residents in our area now at 17 years, followed by Wayne and Ellie at about 12 years. What is going on? What is attacking our little corner of the world? I re-visited my thoughts of poisonous carcinogens in our water. Possibly run off from the highway? A cleaning fluid from the railroad tracks just across the street? Poisons from boats on the chain of lakes that may be seeping into our wells? What gives? HOW did all of us get some form of cancer? Who’s next? My husband? God forbid my daughter? I’ve become consumed by what may be going wrong. I’ve even thought of hitting the streets by my house to find if there are more I haven’t heard about.

Now, I haven’t purchased a Chicago Tribune in years, nor do I normally buy donuts. Recently, on a whim I decided to buy a few donuts to share with the extended family. When I was leaving, I glanced at the Trib sitting there on the counter. I almost walked out, but something caught my attention and I decided to go back and purchase it. I never took the time to read it, but oddly, lugged it along with me on vacation. I finally look at the headline stories… which were alarming. Not just to me, but alarming to ALL of us. I urge you ALL to read this article. It has really got my panties in a bunch. So much so that I’m afraid to go home. It shows there are over 500 sites in Illinois alone, of KNOWN contaminated water supplies. This contamination can cause… cancer. Only a few of these are on a list for “clean up”. It is getting into the Fox River and into aquifers where our own wells siphon our water supply into our homes. It is even in water you may think is clean just because you pay the city for it. Many have been KNOWN since 1990!!! The top 9 are listed in this article. There is a link where you can look up to see if you may be one of the effected areas. If you have a DRY CLEANERS near you, odds are, you’ve got trouble. It is the chemical perchloroethylene, (also called PCE, Perc, the brand name is TETRACHLOROETHYLENE. – “common synonyms” are PERCHLOROETHYLENE; ETHYLENE TETRACHLORIDE; CARBON BICHLORIDE; CARBON DICHLORIDE) from these dry cleaners which could be silently killing us. I was devastated to see, on this list the first one in line is FOX LAKE. Now I’m petrified my cancer will return if I continue to bathe or drink my water. I’m terrified my daughter who has been party to this her entire life may already have something lurking with in her. It has also been known by the ever popular “them”, that it travels through the ground (I assume through aquifers?) and can turn up as a vapor leaking from your property into your house like radon does, which will also cause cancer or other life threatening illness, as well as being in your soil when you dig it up or play on it.

#1 – Dry Cleaners are killing us
#2 – Illinois set aside $2.7 million dollars for clean up of some sites. (apparently it’s not a costly task, and if that’s true, then why hasn’t it been done sooner?! Maybe because of fact #3. Why, if these places were KNOWN contaminants are they allowed to stay in bleeping business and continue to poison our lakes, rivers, aquifers, countless animals. People. Me. My child?)
#3- the dirty rat Rod Blago, TOOK $2 million of that to “balance the budget”. Wait, to pay for CTA trains to have TVs installed, spending more then $2 million, but forget cleaning up messes we allowed that is making unsuspecting people sick? Where is the logic in that?!?! I guess there’s no money for clean up now.
#4 – they use the term “common fix”. I’m thinking it ain’t fixing shit people. Houston, we have a problem.

I urge you to check to see if your area is on this list. http://drycleaners.apps.chicagotribune.com/
Whether it is or not, aquifers can run far and deep, I implore you to get your water and perhaps your soil tested! Not just for Perc, but other carcinogens that may be lurking as well, such as Dichloroethylene and vinyl chloride which is also in the lovely water supply up here. Just because you are not on this list, does not mean you are safe. It may mean no one has found out yet!

Take action. I am. And if I find it in my well, bet your ass there will be hell to pay.
Erin Brockovich, brace yourself. We’ll be dialing your number!

Full Trib Story, here (2 articles)
http://www.chicagotribune.com/health/chi-dry-cleaners-pollution-bd26-jul26,0,5184515.story
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-dry-cleaners-vapor-bd26-jul26,0,4767111.story

Our Daughter's & Son's...

Wouldn’t it be great if our daughters (and some sons too!) weren’t just sitting ducks?

There is a buzz about a breast cancer VACCINE…. Wouldn’t that be AMAZING? I heard it through the grape vine and am anxious to find more information. One important factor for this is research research research.

A very dear friend is taking a hike. In one short month, August, she is walking for 3 days to raise money for breast cancer with Susan G Koman For the Cure. Cure. What an awesome word that could be! Not only does she have women around her that have had or are currently suffering from this disease, her mother sadly had a reoccurrence 12 years out from the first diagnosis. Colleen would give the shirt off her back to help anyone, and is almost half way to her goal, I’d like to see if we can get her PAST her goal! There is so much more research needed to be done, especially in the area for those that are at a higher stage. The quiet ones that don’t want to express their fear to lower level stage women. They need hope too. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could give severe stage IV more then just a little more time? It brings tears of joy to my eyes to hear her say... "If you know or have someone who is diagnosed with Breast Cancer, (or any type of cancer) please give me their name so I can carry them with me through all 60 miles. " I know we are in very tough economic times, but if you can even just a little, please support Colleen in her crusade... click here to help Colleen help our future and our children's future! You can donate or even join her team!

THANKS EVERYBODY!!

Below is a note from Colleen:

Dear Family & Friends,

I have taken on an incredible challenge! On August 7th, 8th & 9th, I'll be walking 60 miles over the course of three days. Each day of the event, my teammates and thousands of others, will walk 20 miles and spend two nights camping under the stars with thousands of other women and men on this same journey.It's for an event called the Breast Cancer 3-Day, which benefits Susan G. Komen for the Cure and the National Philanthropic Trust Breast Cancer Fund. Every advancement in breast cancer research, treatment, education and prevention in the last 25 years has been touched by a Komen for the Cure grant. They are working hard to build a future without breast cancer.I am required to raise a minimum of $2,300 to participate in the event. By the time that you finish reading this, two more women will be diagnosed with breast cancer, and another one just died from it. In fact, while I am walking those 60 miles, 110 women will die from this horrible disease. 110 families will lose a mother, or a daughter, or a best friend.An amazing thing happened the other night! While attending a meeting I mentioned that I would be participating in the 3 day . . . And a woman, whom I did not know, walked up to me after the meeting and handed me a donation! We talked about when she had participated in the walk a few years ago, how difficult yet rewarding it was and she truly inspired and motivated me even more!So here is why I choose to walk:I walk because...Too many of my family and friends have been affected by breast cancer.I will walk knowing the money I raise will be helping so many.I will walk praying for a cure so our daughters and sons will only know breast cancer as a thing of the past.I will walk because I can!Times are hard, we all know. But every dollar counts, and brings us closer to a cure. Please look in your hearts and consider a donation. If you would like to donate you can donate online at http://www.the3day.org/. Just click on Donate Now and search for my personal fundraising page. You can also call 800.996.3DAY to donate over the phone.

If you know or have someone who is diagnosed with Breast Cancer, (or any type of cancer) please give me their name so I can carry them with me through all 60 miles.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter, and thank you for your support.

Colleen

If you are unable to donate online, please print out a donation form.
Click here to visit my personal page. If the text above does not appear as a clickable link, you can visit the web address:http://www.the3day.org/site/TR/Walk/ChicagoEvent?px=3292672&pg=personal&fr_id=1293&et=Y268ckfK4AF9MTxODFrpVQ..&s_tafId=182530
Click here to view the team page for Mamas for Tatas If the text above does not appear as a clickable link, you can visit the web address:http://www.the3day.org/site/TR/Walk/ChicagoEvent?team_id=85260&pg=team&fr_id=1293&et=OBi5R6M5rU79t-qbPyhWAA..&s_tafId=182530
For more information about the Breast Cancer 3-Day, Susan G. Komen for the Cure or the National Philanthropic Trust Breast Cancer Fund, visit http://www.the3day.org/ or call 800.996.3DAY.

© 2009 Breast Cancer 3-Day. 205 N. Michigan Avenue, Suite 2640, Chicago IL 60601

HANG ing Tough

To anyone fighting cancer or living with it...
I’d like to share with you, MY MANTRA.
These powerful words truly got me through chemotherapy as they ran through my head over and over and over again. Reminds me to keep fighting every day...
((Oh! And my Tumor Marker & CellSearch tests came back clean from last week! ... WOOOOOO HOOOOOO!! I remain on pills to inhibit cancer growth for 5 years... I’ll be retested every 3 months. Somewhere down the line more scans…. but so far... STILL KICKIN'!))

TESLA ~Hang Tough
(the ever so inspiring (partial) lyrics below for those that insist you can't understand a word he is singing)




"Took a shot to the chin
Looks like you just can't win
In this do or die situation.
And it's harder than it seems
To survive, keep alive and make your dreams,
Make your dreams all come true.

You gotta, you gotta give it your best shot.
Give it ev'rything you got.
Oh, you gotta hang tough.
Hang tough. Hang tough.
Sometimes love can make you blue.
A heartache made just for you.
But you can't let it bring ya down.

If you should stumble, if you should fall,
Pick yourself up off the floor.
Fight for what's right and stand your ground.
You gotta give it your best shot.
Give it ev'rything you got.
Oh, you gotta hang tough.
Hang tough. Hang tough.
When the goin' gets rough. Hang tough.
You got to give it all you've got. Hang tough.
Keep your head above the ground.
Don't you let it get you down.
Oh, you gotta hang tough.
Hey! Oh! Hey! Oh!....."

Emotions build and creep in silently like an approaching, possibly threatening, storm. They run rampant like a fox hunt and bounce back and forth like a tennis match living with cancer. One minute you are living normal. Doing dishes. Laundry. Fixing Dinner. Cleaning up dog yak. The next you realize, you are not doing the things you set out to do. Spend quality time with your spouse. Go to the park. Study your child’s expressions upon her face. Finish the book you wanted to write for her, in case your not around and don’t get to tell her all the things you wanted to. Then you remember your last test came back with excellent results. You think to yourself, you still have time. So you go on with day to day things, not carrying out the precious things that mean so much to you. Next thing you know, you find out an acquaintance had that same clean test you did three months ago, but now has metastasis in much of her bones. Did they miss it last time? Did it just grow that fast? Couple days go by and you go back to blogs of others with similar diagnosis and someone else logged on for them. For the final message. To inform everyone the bloggers lost the fight and have passed on. Fear, panic and realization set in once again. While you hope and pray you’ll have 10 or 20 years more, you feel time slipping away. You’re bordering phobic once again. The possibility of only 6 months more creeps back in... at the same time you feel guilty for worrying about your own mortality more then hers. You feel sad for the friend that is having a horrible recurrence, sorry for the families that just lost their wife, mother, sister, aunt…Guilt of wasting time with droll things and not giving more of yourself to others.

Wanting to be cured, knowing you won’t hear words like remission for many years, maybe 10, but hoping you will be here AT LEAST that long…. Deleting web links off your favorite places of other sufferers, because they passed on… Hearing your doctor, trying to be encouraging, say, ‘I have one patient as bad as your case and it’s been 7 years. She’s still here.’ That’s great. It truly is. Then again, what about the others? What happened to them? Was her case so highly unusual that he brought her up? What did she do? Can I do it? Was she the same one that had a bad test when mine came back good? You find yourself in a vicious circle of neurotic obsession.

These are emotions and questions of mortality that are completely normal. But there’s no way around them.

Eventually, you get past what every one says are “negative thoughts” and move on with normal life, as always.

On the other hand, perhaps negative thoughts are needed. Perhaps negative thoughts can lead into something positive. Lead you to becoming.
Perhaps the negative needs to creep in to remind you to get your ass moving, worry about the truly important things, enjoy what you can while you can.

This can be said for ANYONE that forgets there are blessings in your life in small packages every day. You don’t need to have a disease to set aside the pessimism so you can become more productive, more appreciative.

This past week, while I tried to function on a normal level, a feeling out of the blue, like a sharp knife in the pit of my stomach, came to me. I feel like I might be heading toward disease progression. My next appointment isn’t until July. And I’ll secretly worry until then. But I’ll also do what I can to calm myself.

Healthful benefits from music

If you don’t vacuum the rug for a period of time, it begins to get dingy. Dirty. Clogged with a web of dog hair and dirt from paws or the better half’s boots. So what do you do? You vacuum to get rid of the grime. Right? Music is like a vacuum. While it may seem to have nothing to do with health or spirituality, it actually has a very direct connection for many. It “cleanses the soul” paving the way for healing, reconnection and enjoying life around you.

When we have a “happy soul”, we carry a positive attitude, which then allows the body and mind to heal and be fed with life around us. Recent studies show, regardless of your musical genre preference (it doesn’t have to be classical), if you like it… if it makes you happy… it has actual healthful benefits. Music breaks loose the crusty build up on a sour mood and begins to wash it away. Purging that crust, the soul is open to be nourished, by any positive stimulants around. Sunlight. Refreshing Rain. A flower budding. A child’s giggle. The smile from a passerby. More music. It lightens the load we carry and revives us. It can assist us to heal physically. Stimulating by just making us feel good or finding upbeat encouragement. (Tracks like “Hang Tough”, “Gettin’ Better” and “I Want To Live”, I find particularly inspiring while combating cancer.) It holds befits for your heart, and is also valuable in pain management as a study from Glasgow Caledonian University shows.

“Experts” say, to help re-connect couples, they require “couple time”. Very true. My husband and I found at least one concert a year truly benefits our relationship, bring us together, by partaking in something we both enjoy. Collectively, we have a wide array of musical interests. I was disappointed when we missed our annual Tesla concert last year, because my chemotherapy overlapped the concert. I felt pretty crappy. Not to mention it’s difficult to bang a bald head when I’m used to having a long mane to toss around. Our boys are back in town. I’m mending and motivated to be there front (and hopefully) center, and while my hair can’t be tossed, I at least have some cover. Rock music brings us together. Christian music can inspire you to be closer to God. Opening your eyes to the very important spiritual relationship. “What You Give” & “Just In Case” (I don’t make it to heaven). These Tesla songs may not be played on Christian stations, they may qualify, displaying simple morals we all should have, along with a possible questioning of faith, which anyone with faith as questioned their own at one time or another.

Music releases frustration. It can be exciting, or can be a dear friend that understands how you feel. You can cry on its shoulder, let it take you somewhere else, be inspired or energized. Reducing the load, it can facilitate healing and reconnection with others. Revitalizing you and your relationships. Feeding your spirit.

Faith and God are the reason and heart of our souls. Music is the extra vitamins I need. Without it, I couldn’t stay balanced. So, when you begin to feel dingy or wound a little tight, vacuum. Plug in and turn up the volume of your favorite soul cleansing tunes and SHAKE OFF THAT DUST!
“….
It’s not where you’re at, or where you’re coming from
When all is said and done, you can call it,
Heavy Metal, Hard Rock, Punk, Pop, or Thrash
You can call it anything it don’t matter to me
Call it what you want.
It’s ALL music to me…”

Electromagnetic, completely kinetic - music/part 2

“Experts” say, to help re-connect couples, they require “couple time”. Very true.
My husband and I found at least one concert a year truly benefits our relationship, bring us together, by partaking in something we both enjoy. Collectively, we have a wide array of musical interests.
One band we can’t miss has been hitting the circuit hard. Tesla. They’ve become our yearly fix. A necessity. I’ve lost count how many times we’ve seen them, yet it’s never quite the same. Never disappointing. In this age of concerts, it’s hard to imagine a great show without fire and explosives. However, these boys have… something. Something inside themselves they release on stage. There’s no need for glitz. They transmit energy, display enthusiasm, and ooze passion that out shines fiery explosives. There’s an element of freeness and playful attitudes that emerge, though they are serious musicians. While I’m no Plaster Caster or Bangor Sister, I’ve had my share and been around the block enough to conclude, Tesla is among the best live bands to grace your ears you’ll ever see (or rather, hear). The fans (the Troop) drawing from the expelled energy, are enthusiastic as well. Exceptionally friendly. Extremely loyal.

I was disappointed when Bobby and I missed Tesla last year, because my chemotherapy overlapped the concert. I felt pretty crappy. Not to mention it’s difficult to bang a bald head when you’re used to having a long mane to toss around. Our boys are back in town. Particularly close by at the Genese Theatre in Waukegan, IL (Friday, April 17th). I’m mending and motivated to be there front (and hopefully) center, and while my hair can’t be tossed, I at least have some cover. We have our Tesla tickets already. Click here to Get yours from Ticket Master HERE….
Revitalize.
SHAKE OFF THAT DUST!

“….
It’s not where you’re at, or where you’re coming from
When all is said and done, you can call it,
Heavy Metal, Hard Core, Punk, Pop, or Thrash
You can call it anything it don’t matter to me
Call it what you want.
It’s ALL music to me…”

CellSearch™ - testing cancer cells

Something from the depths of the ocean? Attractive as it may be, it ain’t pretty as it looks. No. It is something I worry about almost every day. Just one of these. Something anyone who has or had cancer. A single cancer cell. Just one, can change your life forever. Just one haunts you.

There is a new-ish test out there now called CellSearch™. It detects cancer cells differently then tumor marker tests and much more accurately!

Below excerpts from RARITAN, N.J.,…
“Veridex, LLC… (Feb 2008)… announced that the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has granted an expanded clearance for the CellSearch™ System to be used as an aid in the monitoring of metastatic prostate cancer (MPC) patients. The CellSearch™ System currently is cleared for monitoring metastatic breast and metastatic colorectal cancer patients. The CellSearch™ System identifies and counts circulating tumor cells (CTCs) in a blood sample to predict progression-free survival and overall survival in patients with metastatic breast, colorectal or prostate cancer, and can do so earlier than the current standard of care. The results of serial testing for CTCs with the CellSearch™ System provide additional information to the oncologist and does so earlier than other currently approved diagnostic modalities, thereby allowing the oncologist to make more-informed patient care decisions.”

If you are concerned with your regular testing’s accuracy, ask your doctor to do the CellSearch™ test. Mine did. It can give you piece of mind, or a heads up for your doctor on which treatments are working for your, if you need a full course of treatment or if just a couple is enough .

… “Currently, oncologists often have to wait several months before they can determine if a specific treatment is beneficial to the patient. The CellSearch™ System helps physicians to predict disease progression and patient
survival any time during therapy. "I am extremely pleased that we now can offer this test to patients with metastatic prostate cancer," said Dr. Louis Fink of the Nevada Cancer Institute in Las Vegas, Nevada. "We have been evaluating the clinical utility of the CellSearchTM System in patients with metastatic prostate cancer since January 2007. Our findings demonstrate a strong indication that the baseline number of Circulating Tumor Cells (CTCs) is prognostic, and that the number of prostate CTCs is altered by the therapy." Dr. Nick Vogelzang, also of the Nevada Cancer Institute, continued, "We have compared CellSearch™ CTC test results to the standard clinical and biomedical parameters, such as prostate specific antigen (PSA) measured in MPC patients. A decrease in the number of CTCs is most often associated with patients successfully responding to therapy. Further analysis of CTCs may provide information as to the most efficacious treatments for specific individuals."…”
… “The CellSearch™ System is the first diagnostic test to automate the detection and enumeration of CTCs, cancer cells that detach from solid tumors and enter the blood stream, and is a new class of diagnostic tools. The system's specificity, sensitivity and reproducibility allow for serial assessment of CTCs as early as the first cycle of treatment to help evaluate disease progression sooner. The CellSearchTM System was originally cleared by the FDA in January 2004 as a diagnostic tool for identifying and counting CTCs in a blood sample to predict progression-free survival and overall survival in patients with metastatic breast cancer. …”

Wait. I kind of wonder, why haven’t we heard MORE about this if it has been around for metastatic breast cancer for FIVE YEARS?!

… “The authors of this study concluded: "The very short median progression-free survival in patients with elevated circulating tumor cells at the first follow-up visit suggests that these patients are receiving ineffective therapy." In addition, as recently as November 2006, a metastatic breast cancer study was published in Clinical Cancer Research where the authors concluded: "The results reported here indicate that the evaluation of CTCs is an accurate measure of treatment efficacy." Additionally, the authors said: "The ability to serially quantitate and interrogate CTCs in patients with breast cancer makes possible new ways of managing and investigating the disease." Dr. N. Vogelzang is the recipient of a research fellowship grant from Veridex for the purpose of supporting independent research in metastatic prostate cancer patients.

For case studies, and more complete detailed information visit Veridex directly:
http://www.veridex.com/CellSearch/CellSearchHCP.aspx

sorry, just can't keep my mouth shut.

Transparency? It sure is transparent. So transparent you can’t see it. (You'll never easily find it all.)

Universal HealthCare? Na, it didn’t get shoved in there so you wouldn’t know we are going to control whether your doctor treats you or not. (anyone that may be a burden, with terminal sickness, we think is too old or have poor prognoses won’t be treated, because it’s a waste of resources.)

Spending money in stuipd places. (enough said there)

IT’S GOOD FOR YOU
YOU WILL LIKE IT (you don't know - you don't care)
YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOOD FOR YOU (stupid beer drinkers)
IT’S GOOD FOR YOU
Sign your life away, NO! that's ok, you don't need to read it.
YOU WILL LIKE IT (trust me)

B9

Boy oh boy, those biopsy needles are something...Going through your neck.... ew ew ew...

I received the results from the second thyroid biopsy. (have no clue what happened to the first results with a different doctor, they never called or forwarded to my oncologist.) After all I have researched and doctor conversations, I’m not surprised it came back benign. I expected it actually. It could really be benign or it could be misdiagnosed. Which seems to run rampant. It seems to be a tricky thing these little thyroid follicles and tests they use.

Please do not perceive me to be acting as negative or a “downer”. Yes, of course I’m happy to hear the word benign. On the other hand I’m just not 100% convinced. I may never be. (Had I taken the initial word of a doctor a year ago, and not gone with my instincts, I seriously wouldn’t be here today.) However, I carry a light heart. It just doesn’t feel urgent to me at this point and I’m going to continue to appreciate and enjoy what I have. “This much” more time to enjoy my life and the people I love and the wonderful inspiring and encouraging old friends and new.

your body is TELLING you something

Our bodies are unique complex machines. We may not have a dashboard light that comes on to tell us something is wrong with our engine, but we do have a temperature gauge. You get to know your car. When the temperature gauge in the car rises, we take note, because something could be wrong. It is a warning. We wouldn’t ignore that would we? So why should we ignore our own body temperatures? Just like our individual cars that run at individual temperatures on individual gauges, such is our own individual body temperatures. When it rises, it’s a warning signal.

About a year before diagnosis I developed a low grade fever of 99.0ºF. My temperature is normally 97.4 - 97.6. So 99.0 for me would be like 100.0 for someone who is the perfect normal of 98.6. When my temperature rose to 99º I developed the notion something must have been wrong. I had no outward signs of any illness other then my eyelids being hot. It continued day after day with no other signs. The doctors and nurses had the “what’s the big deal” attitude. Normal is 98.6 period. Especially if they took my temperature and it was 98.8º, certainly I must be a hypochondriac. Even though 98.6 is abnormally elevated for me.

To them, it was only 0.2 above normal. For me, it was a fever. But with them acting like I was being ridiculously unreasonable, I brushed it off as getting older. Body changes. Perhaps a new standard for me. Brain washed?

After being diagnosed with cancer, I asked 3 different breast and cancer doctors if body temperature has anything to do with cancer. 2 out of 3 said “absolutely! Yes!” Near the end of chemotherapy my temperature returned to my normal 97.4.

I then started radiation. Halfway through radiation my temperature began rising again. No other outward symptoms. Hmmmm. I told the nurse, my temperature is higher then normal for me. I asked if perhaps I should start a cancer inhibitor. I was told no and basically disregarded. The day after my last radiation, I started on Aromasin to cut off estrogen supply to any remain cancer cells. Two weeks later, my temperature returned to my normal 97.4. Coincidence?

Because Aromasin took a disabling toll on my joints and muscles, my doctor wanted me to try Arimidex then Femera to see if either of these would be easier on me. On Arimidex, it became easier and easier to move around the longer I was on it. But at the end of 2 weeks, my eyelids grew hot, and my temp was 97.9. It rose a little every day to 99.2 four days later. Now I’m thinking there IS something to fever and cancer detection. It would make sense that it was possible cancer was starting to grow again during the end half of radiation. When I started medication for advanced/metastatic cancer, the fever went away. When I started a different medication, I may have felt better, but is the fever is telling me, the medication isn’t working? I started Femara. Near a week the joint pain is back, I’m becoming less mobile, yet the elevated temperature is still there.

I did a search. I found a re-confirmation of my thoughts and what 2 doctors told me. The body’s immune system may be kicking in to fight the foreign cells causing temperature elevation or the cells are using up the body’s resources to grow, causing temperature elevation. Fever is a symptom of cancer. (What IS a fever for YOU? ) With that information, I might be able to draw a conclusion that Arimidex did not work for me. Which of course brings up the “oh shit, the cancer is growing again” fear.

Next… possible symptoms of cancer…

Laugh and Smell Roses

If you haven’t taken time to smell the roses or laugh lately, try to recall a time when there may have even been no words, when you and your friend saw something or remembered something at the same time, and just busted out laughing so hard you laughed yourself hoarse? How about a time before America’s Funnies Home Videos when you saw someone slip on the ice and go down kinda hard then he looked around to see if anyone was watching, and you tried so hard to not laugh at him, tears streamed down your face instead? Committed to your memory may be a time when you watched your baby roll over off her back to her belly the first time, or how proud you were when she took her first wobbly step. If recalling any of these simple memories can bring a smile to your face, you have “smelled a rose”.

I haven’t been on line reading posts, blogging or surfing. My daughter was off for Christmas break, so I figured it best I just step away from the computer while she was home, so I could spend my time with her. I do believe it’s the first time in a very long time I took time to “smell the roses”.

You ever laugh so hard, no sound comes out? The past couple weeks, we did. By the time the laughter sound came, tears were streaming. Time spent may not have been out and about Doing or Spending, but it was time spent. Definitely not time wasted. We both re learned how fun each other can be. Playing video and board games. Baking cookies from scratch. Talking. Joking.

Puppies have a healing quality and joy effect all their own. Watching my daughter with the neighbor’s puppies, not only the amusement they bring, but witnessing and detailing in my mind the exchange of good, loving feelings of pure happiness between them brings me enjoyment too.

Smelling the roses. Ahhhh, they smell good.

Finding a routine beyond turmoil

Nothing has been routine for me since first line / second line treatments. You settle into an odd routine having chemotherapy. There is a continued disruption that becomes your life. You adapt to anguish and pain while in a self preservation mode. There is a repetitive habitual schedule with radiation. While you start feeling better, there is a daily disturbance of travel and reminder of what has happened to you that you never dreamed could. By the time you get home, you are left with little time to do other things. When that is over, keeping with recent tradition, there is a customary standard met with more tests, doctors appointments and new crisis which follow. You are kept busy with ordeals. This is your life. It’s been demanding and hectic. When it ends (or slows down), you don’t know how to proceed. WHAT do you DO NOW? What is your life? Nothing has settled into “normal” yet. The only normal I’ve known for 9 months is sickness and drama. Once I get this thyroid thing, cervical problem, joint and bone pains, and settle into a medication that works for me, taken care of, I can search for a new normal, with routine, balance and quality.

It’s hard to find this new way to live life. You never forget you have cancer. You may have a day or two of enjoyment where you can toss it to the back of your mind, but you are always reminded one way or another, you are not normal anymore. Nothing is clear. In a split second I catch myself in the mirror on the way to the toilet, there’s a hazy distorted version of me, I see my hair growing back. I dream of a day when it will be restored to what it was (which will take a couple of years). Then I recall an article of a beautiful woman with two small children. She fought breast cancer. Four years after she had been diagnosed and treated, her hair restored, she’d passed. I wonder to myself, by the time I’m satisfied with the length of my hair, will it be my time? In a split second all of that races through my mind. Because of a mirror. I needed to pee and I passed the damn mirror. Besides hardships on your body, it’s a burden of the mind. One that leaves you wondering every day “when will it get worse?” “What is going to happen?” “Am I wasting my time?” “What would be a better use of my time?” “Do I spend my time for me? Or do I spend it for others around me?” I tend to think I need to spend it for others, with a small dose of me time. Eventually, I will not be able to spend it for others. Which isn’t something one should think about only because they have cancer. Spending time with your family or people you care about, truly appreciating them, should be everyone’s first priority. Because you never know what tomorrow holds. No one does.

For 2 weeks, I consciously held a pattern. I stayed off the computer, I spent most of my time with my daughter. I spent more time with my husband then I’ve spent in 9 months, which wasn’t much at all really but a heck of a lot more then strangers passing by like we’ve been. Sure there were a couple doctor appointments, but I’ll be dipped! There IS a life away from the computer. I spent more quality time with my daughter. My family. This is it. This iswhat I want. I’m going to find my way into a routine to incorporate the loves of my life.

Routine. Balance. Normal. Hopefully I’ll find it. Preferably one that with plenty of quality family time and rose smelling.