I have been, as well as my entire family, an absolute nervous wreck, not being able to sleep, eat, praying every moment possible that God won’t take me away from my husband and daughter, mother, uncles & aunts yet, paralyzed with fear, waiting for results of my scans. I accomplished absolutely nothing just sitting waiting for the phone to ring with news one way or the other. With that, comes added guilt that my daughter is on spring break, and I’ve done NOTHING with her but sit around with the deer in the headlight look worrying. Not even a walk around the block... I feel like a horrible mother.
Thinking “no news is good news” then bouncing to “I must be riddled with cancer in the organs or bones, they don’t know how to break the news to me and over the phone no less….” Depending on how the bone scan came back would put the kabosh on chemo & radiation. Seems like it would be more of a “management” type plan in that case rather then a destroy the cancer with chemo thing.
The call finally came this morning.
The many many many prayers you’ve all said & I’ve said & everyone else said… PAID OFF! The major organ scan & bone scan came back negative. A GOOD NEGATIVE. I think I’m gonna pee in my pants. Oh our God, I cannot tell you how thankful and relieved I am (even though it is in my blood stream) to remain at a stage III cancer and not have bumped up to a stage 4 !
THANK YOU - THANK YOU - THANK YOU - TO EVERYONE PRAYING FOR US!!!!!
We are over that hurdle. Now we need maintenance prayers that the Chemo/Radiation & other medications takes care of the cancer that is still there. All the sickness Chemo will bring is such a small price to pay, for more time here on earth with those I love so much.
Thank you everyone! I feel like I could run a marathon right now. I’m so high on this shred of good news. (in a normal healthy state I’d never in my wildest dreams consider a marathon, but even though I'm sleep deprived, I'm so jacked up with energy, I could now.) I think mom is gonna faint. I hope Bobby (hubby) can drive home with out a wreck. Good news has been extremely limited around here & what little bit we get seems to be such a huge triumph; it brings on the shakes & tears of joy. I've been re-mobilized. I need to do something fun with my family. And today, I feel I can certinly accomplish that!